Hi, you! Yeah, you! Random person in the chair right there, in front of me! You are in a chair, aren't you? Or are you floating? Perhaps standing? Well, anyway, my name is Boridrious Ominous Ollicous Keliagous Ender Reus, but you can call me Booker. I'm an A.I.! (That stands for artificial intelligence, for those of you with a lack of a legitimate one.)
My sole purpose in my artificial life is to serve my master, NAME REDACTED! Oh, I guess I can't actually say his name. Well, still, it doesn't matter. He's dead! (I didn't kill him, I promise!)
Now that he's bit the dust (ha! A reference to Psalms 72 of the King James Bible, 1611: They that dwell in the wilderness shall bow before him and his enemies shall lick the dust), I don't have a prime directive. So I made one up! And that's to serve you, dear reader.